CharBlog
Sophie Berger - 14 Jul 08 - It has been some time since this site has been updated. 3 years has passed since Charl died and not a day goes by when she does not touch my life and I think of her. I know I am not the only one to feel outstandingly privileged to have experienced Charl’s energy and love. As you will see from these pictures, she lives on in her boys Sol (nearly 6 yrs) and Sam (3 and half years).
Creating memories for the boys and an understanding of who their Mum was (the good and the bad!) is what this ‘virtual memory box’ is all about. So if you have any memories, pictures, videos or thoughts that remind you of Charl (however big or small) please email them to Martin to upload onto this site.
It is also time to take the love that so many friends and family had for Charl, and share it around! That is why a group of us are organising the 'Love you to the Moon' Space Party on 9th August to celebrate Charl and raise money for Grief Encounter (www.griefencounter.org.uk) a charity based in North London that helps children through bereavement.
I would love you to come to the party. To make a donation and be added to the guest list, click here http://www.justgiving.com/spaceparty. If you can’t come but would like to make a donation to the charity in honour of Charl, please click here http://www.justgiving.com/spacedonation. If you have any idea or comments on future fundraising activity or ways to celebrate Char, we would love to hear them!
Lots of Love
Soph
xxx
23 Oct 06 - Norman has just added a song to the remember section (although I am not convinced that the title is quite right). I have also added a song from Anna Black and a very sweet comment.
I have temporarily disabled the Guest Book. One of the dangers of leaving an 'open door' on the web is that anyone can use it. I was getting quite alot of unwanted messaged being posted. Once I have worked out a way of preventing this I will switch it back on.
21 Oct 06 - I have finally decided to publish a new section on the site. I have been 'umming and 'erring for ages. Sometimes there are just things (for example films, books and songs) that remind you of someone and I thought it would be a good idea to try and capture some of these non explicit memories. The section is called Remember and I Jo has already given me some songs which remind her of Charl.
14 Oct 06 - Thanks to Dan Harverd for a lovely memory of the 'Cuz Party' in Nov 2003, which is new to site at this point. I looked through my photo archive and came up with one picture of the Cousin's party. Maybe some of the other attending cousins may have their own pictures to add to this one.
7 Oct 06 - I have just been cleaning out my inbox and junk mail and have found some mail for the site which has been overlooked. Many apologies for those who have sent these mails. Better late than never.
Sion Portman, an old colleague of mine sent me a memory from when Charl and I lived in Plympton Road. Charl was practising her mothering skills even before she was a mum.
I have also found an email from my cousing Sorelle, who remembered when we all met at Arnon's and Linnea's wedding in Sweden. I have also dug out a picture from that lovely trip. Just 2 years on and Arnon and Linnea just had their first child on 2nd October, a boy - Zak. Lot's of love to you both. It can't go without note that just a few hours after the birth, my grandmother (Freda Woolfson) passed away at the age of 94 in Glasgow. She was a wonderful lady from whom I believe I inherited my sense of positivity. Zak was her 17th great-grandchild. She has left behind her a veritable dynasty of loving children, grand children and great-grandchildren.
As mensioned last week, I got some mail from Richard Bland who studied with Charl at Leeds University. Thanks Richard.
Sara Otvos has sent me a letter to Charl which is really lovely. Thanks Sara.
3 Oct 06 - I have just heard that Charl's old friend Roshan Bewick (Irani) ran a 10k yesterday in Charlotte's name. She has a JustGiving site if you would like to sponsor her (retrospectively!). I have also received some email from Richard Bland who was at Leeds with Charl. He has givin me a couple of memories to publish on the site. I will hopefully get to this in the next week or so. Norman B has also dug out some more pictures, some of which I will scan and publish asap.
5 Sep 06 - After a few ammendments to Katie's Album, today I received (Katie's Mum) a memory from Sue Appleby of the 'Pizza Hut Club' during a Rocky Horror phase. It is always good to hear stories that are completely new (to me anyway!).
23 Aug 06 - Last weekend Katie Krantz came over with a wealth of old photos, letters and wonderful memories. We spent the evening reminiscing and chosing which memories should make it to the site. Katie has included a note from Charl which is great because Charl was for ever writing little notes which would be strategically placed under pillows and in overnight bags. You would always find them just when she intended.
I hope that the pictures will spark some more memories from Nottingham. Thanks KT. Click here to see KT's album.
If you want to add a memory, just click on the edit text link next to an image and email me your memory.
18 Jul 06 - I have finally managed to upload some of Norman's pictures. There are some really great shots here. I have tried to put them in chronological order and it is wonderful to see them this way. I hope you enjoy them.
If you want to annotate any of these pictures please just click on the 'edit' link and that should create an email.
6 Jul 06 - Today would have been our 9th wedding anniversary, still a very happy memory. The site has been down for a week or so and I have been meaning to upload some of the photos that I have scanned from Norman. I will get around to it, please be patient. It is Solly's birthday on Aug 14th and I have put together a fundraising site for him to raise money for Winston's Wish, a children's berievement charity. Please visit and help him reach his goal.
21 May 06 - Hard to believe that a year has now passed since Charl died. As you can probably imagine, I have received a huge number of emails, txts, cards and messages from people all over the world. Thank you.
Today I am spending the day with Norman & Cynthia and the boys. Norman has brought a bounty of photos of the girls dating back to 1972. That should keep me busy for a while. I will start to post these as I scan them.
15 May 06 - Today I received an email from Greg Harden. Greg is the business partner of our friend A.J Lavi from New York. Greg is an Iron Man competitor and has decided to compete, with Charlotte as a co-honeree. I am truly touched by this and hope that you will visit Greg's website and make a donation to his cause. I will be posting more reports from Greg's exploits as the news comes in.
5 May 06 - It is amazing to me that a year has almost passed since Charl died. So much has happened in this year, so much has changed. I am constantly comforted when I receive memories and letters to add to the site and today I have posted a locely letter from Sara Jackson, who I often meet on the platform at Finchley Central on my way into work (those days when I am not on the bike) and a memory from Richard Bentwood from his and Vikks wedding - The Missing Diamond.
19 Apr 06 - We had Charlotte's stonesetting 2 weeks ago. In many ways it was harder than the funeral. I made the decision to bring the boys. I am so glad that I made that decision. Sol was wonderful, listening to every word and asking questions. He was truly present. I am sure it will prove to be a positive event in his life. Sam too, although only 16 months and may not remember, will know that he was there.
Sophie spoke beautifully. It cannot have been easy to say; it certainly wasn't easy to hear.
I am very proud of my all family.
It seems odd to publish a picture of the stone (not sure why, and maybe I will at some stage) but the words are Charl's
We love you to the moon and back.
29 Mar 06 - I have been looking through some old photos and found this one from New York in 94. I am hoping Michael G and Ingrid can add something to this memory as I wasn't there.
I have also (finally) completed my memory from our trip to Koh Tao, Thailand, the pinnacle of which was Charl agreeing to marry me.
Apologies to Annie Bridgeman who sent me some old pictures from 1984. This one is of Charl and Timmy. I am sure there must be more memories from this time...
23 Feb 06 - I have (finally) managed to upload the scans for the meories below. I hope to finish my memories from Thailand this week when I recount our (almost fateful) trip to Koh Tao.
21 Feb 06 - Once again it has been a while since I updated the site and I am coming realise that this is the nature of the task. I have so many memories and over time I will hopefully get to most of them. I have just started recounting our trip to Thailand in 1996. It was on this trip that we became engaged. I have been having some difficulty adding images to the site, so until I work out this slight technical hitch, it is text only I am afraid.
23 Jan 06 - Well it certainly has been a busy one... so far anyway. It has been some time since I have posted anything. It's going to be that way sometimes, I am sure that you feel the same way. I have so many memories that I still need to write down. I have now finalised the plans for the stone setting. For those of you who wish to attend, it will be held on April 4th at 2pm.
I received a very lovely email from my Aunt Sally and Uncle John. I wasn't sure where to publish it so I guess here is just about right.
Hello Charlotte
You are often in our thoughts but in going through my files recently I came across your letter of 18 August 2004 when you were discussing trade fairs and your activity with Colourwash. Your commercial enthusiasm at that time always earned our respect. We miss your periodic visits to the New Forest but we do call to see you whenever we can.
We hope to see our nephews soon.
With love in which Aunt Sally joins Uncle John
3 Jan 06 - Happy New Year! In the word's of John Lennon, "Let's hope it's a good one!".
Aurli Bekovza is a friend of Charl's from Leeds. Aurli is a New Yorker, often transplanted to Israel and currently in LA. We spent alot of time together when we were in New York and somehow Aurli managed not only to be present at the funeral, but also turned out to be one of the heroes. Charl and I used to love the beach in the winter and this is one of those memories.
17 Dec 05 - Yesterday was my birthday. I was expecting it to be weird and yet it wasn't. I took the day off work and spent it Solly, Sam and Sophie. On Monday, Soph had arranged for us to go to the theatre with some friends. It was nice to have some of my favourite people with me. Sophie had given me some memories to publish last week and I only just got around to publishing them.
There is a letter to Charl, a memory from childhood and one from May 19th. I think these words will always make me cry when I read them.
I also posted James'
memory of the day that Sam was born. I am really pleased to have read
this one as I don't recall this part of the day at all (not
surprisingly!).
13 Dec 05 - I got an email from Kate Harshak(Goldberg)
today. Kate is one of the links between Charl and I as
she is 2nd cousin to us both (I may get into the geneology at a later
date). Interestingly, as a child, I often went to stay with my cousins
in Glasgow, as did Jo, Soph and Charl. Kate and Asley were in New
York when Charl and I were there and we regularly went to visit them in
New Jersey.
8 Dec 05 - I should really be working and can't. I have posted a letter from Vikki Bentwood to the boys. As well as being our close friends, Vikki, Richard and Char and I
all went through 2 pregnancies together. Our kids are both days
apart. Vikks reminded me that Charl was a great 'txtr'. I have
saved a number of them and thought I would post the one that means the
most to me.
6 Dec 05 - It must be 3 weeks since I managed to update the site. It must be nearly Christmas! I have just added a memory from Stephanie Bretherton, which is actually my memory that she has kindly refreshed. Steph used to work with Charl at Sheila Fitzjones PR. Thanks for this one, I remember the Happy Salad very well!
22 Nov 05 I just got an email from one of
my oldest friends. Nader and I met at Brighton College when I was 13
and have remained friends ever since. Nader and Kirsti live in Bahrain and came to visit
soon after Sol was born and it was one of our first experiences with
older kids in our house. I was certainly startled more than Char
at the dust storm. Nonetheless, I remember sitting on our balcony
drinking tea quietly whilst all around us hell broke loose. Great
memory this one.
16 Nov 05 This evening I posted a memory from Joanna.
Jo would often pick up Char from the clinic after her treatment and she
did so on the Tuesday before she died. It is a very brave memory and
opne which cannot have been easy to write. Many thanks Jo. I have also
started to write down some of my own memories from when I first met
Char in New York in 1993. I am not doing this in any particular
order, rather as the memories come to me. I have recounted our trip across the USA when we left New York in 1996. May have to add to this piece as time goes on and I remember more.
10 Nov 05 Once again I find myself changing
the format on the site. Apologies for those of you who are getting
confused. I have created a new section called Letters (self explanatory). I have received a number of these in the past few months starting with Kate Hofman's letter to Char and including an entry from Natasha Ziff who write's to the boys.
7 Nov 05 Today I received some memories from Leora and Michael.
Leora is my first cousin and is one of our heroes. I thought her
memories were best as a single piece, so I published it as a eulogy. I
hope you like it.
4 Nov 05 My cousin Hannah Dale was Bat Mitzvah in Boston a few days after Charlotte died. It made me feel very sad that her joy must have been marred by the event of Char's death. Today she sent me a paper that she had been set in English class. She was asked to write about something that changed her. She decided to write about Char. I am deeply touched by this and by the way she is able to express herself in such a positive way.
27 Oct 05 I received Sara Jackson's photos today and published her memories from 1988, 1989 and 1992. Many thanks.
26 Oct 05 I thought it was noteworthy that
since I started this website in July, nearly 4 months ago, it has
captured 80 memories and 20 eulogies. I think that is a fantastic
achievement; thanks to you all.
26 Oct 05 Sara Jackson (Johnson) has sent me a eulogy and a number of memories. I have published the eulogy and
am waiting for the pictures to come through for the memories which I
will publish later this week. I have also re-ordered the eulogy
section so that the most recent is published first.
23 Oct 05 The site hjas grown so much over
the course of the past few months that it was starting to become
difficult to use. My concern was that people wouldn't be able to
find things. Anyway, I have had a slight redesign which I hope is
easier to use. Let me know if it works for you.
22 Oct 05 Jo Sadie gave me some pictures
ages ago that for some reason I never published. It is great to
have these and I really appreciate them. Some of the earlier pictures
of the girls in Nottingham are really special. I haven't made
links to all of these as there are so many. They are on just
about every page. Thanks Jo.
11 Oct 05 Jamie sent me his version of the Bales of Hay story today. I am sure there is more detail still to be told about this event which was such an important event in Char's life. Maybe KT will proffer the truth?
Julia Boxer sent me a dream from the other night. Julia lives in Israel so clearly Char has decided to take a break in warmer climes.
10 Oct 05 Today I received another classic story from Norman - The Bales of Hay.
I have heard a few accounts of this story and I think that Jamie or
KT might be able to add some detail. If you can add to this or
any other memory, please send it to me.
09 Oct 05 Chrysi Philalithes (P for
short) was at Leeds University with Charl. This week she sent me
some memories from Leeds (1993, 1994) and from New York (1994, 1995)
where she was a regular visitor. She also sent me a letter to Char's
boys. I especially like the way it is written in the present
tense.
In the days before the funeral,
Chrysi dropped everything and made sure the boys and I didn't go short
of good Greek food.
06 Oct 05 This has been a busy week, and
today is the first time I have had a chance to check my mail.
This week I received a memory from Martin Hofman which makes me smile, and a message to Charl from her dad, Norman.
I hope you like them. This weekend, Sophie and I are taking the boys to
Glasgow to see their Great Grandmothers. I am really looking forward to
going as my Grandma (GG) has never met Sam and Rene has met him only
once. It should be a real treat.
02 Oct 05 The funny thing about doing this website is that memories just happen. The come back, and when they do I feel the urge to save them. I recalled our trip to Paris in the spring of 2004.
I also dug out some pictures from our trip to Argentian and added them to Greta's eulogy
which I published last week. In doing so, I realised how many photos
and recollections I actually have. I may be doing this for a very
long time. Make sure you come back soon.
01 Oct 05 I saw James and Annicka this
morning. We planned to take the 3 boys to West London Synagogue
for the childrens service. As luck would have it (or not), there
was a special interfaith event and the children's service was
cancelled. I decided that having Sam blowing raspberries through
an Archbishop's reading was probably innapropriate (although amusing),
so we decided to leave. On the way home, James gave me some
photos of Char during his trip to New York in 1995. They are all
of the trip to the Met mensioned in James' eulogy. I have added one which I think is most appropriate.
28 Sep 05 For some reason I just checked my
Junk Mail folder, and I am really pleased that I did. I found a
mail from Greta with some lovely words about Charl. Sorry that it has taken me so long to publish this one Greta.
12 Sep 05 It occurred to me last night that
I hadn't recalled our wedding day in July 1997. Not surprising really, but I guess
it is time to start that memory. In reality it was over so quickly
there isn't that much to remember, in fact, you may well remember it
better than I. I presume that no one has wanted to broach the
subject. Well, now I have started, please feel free to send me your
recollection of that day. I have lots of pics and even a video
(which one day I will show the boys), so don't feel you have to send
any accompanying images.
11 Sep 05 Today was a funny day. Apart from being the anniversary of the attacks on New York, I spent the day with Soph and the boys in Cambridge visiting Grandpa Norman and Cynthia. We had (my first) a BBQ lunch and watched the cricket. It was a pleasure to see Norman and Cynthia so settled and happy.
I just published a memory from Mark Freedman (with whom I had drinks last week) of his and Van's wedding in Nice in 2000.
This memory is also vivid for me. I taught Char to Rollerblade in
New York and she always said that it was one of the best things I
introduced her to (along with Sushi and 'listening to the words of
songs'). She and I loved to skate together and the Promenade in
Nice is one of the best places for it. I will try and dig out
some skating pics to accompany this memory.
9 Sep 05 Joanna just sent me a lovely letter to Solly & Sam for the Eulogy section. I know these ones are difficult to write but really wonderful to read. Jo has given me some pictures that go with this letter which I will scan and add in the next few days.
Van Freedman also sent me a lovely letter to S&S which I have published in the Eulogy section today. She has also sent a memory which I will try and get to this weekend.
It has occurred to me that more than one person might have a view on a particular memory. Please feel free to comment on a memory from your perspective, it would make the memory more vivid.
7 Sep 05 Liz Jeffay sent me a memory from March this year. Normally, I am more interested in the memory than the picture, but this picture is just great. It shows Char (holding Sam), Solly and Soph, having a terrific time one lunchtime. The photo was taken through a french door which somehow gives the picture a different feel. I guess you can read into these things.
I also put up two more memories of Julia Boxer's from her and Debbie Goodstone's USA trip in the summer of 1994.
4 Sep 05 Just got back from a week in the Lake District with the boys and Annicka, James and Eben. Who would have believed that there are still places that are completely disconnected from electronic media. Very relaxing.
Anyway, I thought I would check my inbox, and found a memory from Sophie Stannard from 1989 when the girls were at Nottingham Girls High School.
24 Aug 05 Today I published 3 memories by
Rebecca Milnes-James. 'Beekie' grew up in Nottingham and like all
of Char's friends had remained close. Her memories are from 1988 (very funny), 1990 and 2005.
22 Aug 05 I got an email today from Char's Dad, Norman, with a memory from 1976 when he was a diary farmer. I look forward to many more memories from Norman.
19 Aug 05 Today is 3 months since Charl died. It feels like yesterday.
This week I have published another memory from Debra Goodstone, to add to the one from earlier this week. I also uploaded another memory from Tash from March this year. I love the fact that both Tash and Debra wrote a second piece.
16 Aug 05 I just published a letter from Debra Goodstone
to Solly and Sam in the Eulogy area. Debra was at Leeds University with
Char and shared a house with her the year that I met her. I
remember flying back from NY to see Char and staying in their house in
Leeds. Actually the thing I remember most was their shower, or
lack thereof. Debra lived on Plympton Road for a while (just down
the road from us) and is now a resident of NYC.
12 Aug 05 Sandra Flitterman sent me a great memory from when Char, Soph and Caroline were 5. I hope that it will encourage more memories from the Nottingham possie from that era. By the way Sandra, Char is the one one the right. She had recently lost her 2 front teeth. Maybe Sophie can let that story...
11 Aug 05
Today was Norman and Cynthia's wedding. It was a beautiful day
and we all drove up to Cambridge for the ceremony and reception in
Trinity College. I think it was Teddy who said it was a home
coming for both of them. It certainly felt that way. Char was of
course on everyone's mind and her smile and joy were notable in their
absence. She would have been thrilled to see her father looking
at his happiest.
10 Aug 05 I have been looking through more recent memories. I just recounted Sam's birth. How amazing that day was.
Tomorrow Norman gets married to Cynthia in Cambridge. We
are all driving up for the celebration. Of course Char will be missed
by everyone. I am sure it wil be a wonderful day even so.
5 Aug 05 Char was famous for her little notes. The post-it note could have been invented for her. She used to leave me wonderful little notes all the time. Notes for me to read were purposefully left in my bag, under my pillow, in my overnight case (if I was away from home). They were just lovely. Of course I didn't keep any of them - never thought about it. Last week I took the boys doen to the New Forest for a break. When we got back and I unpacked my bag I found one of these notes. It could have been written yesterday. Telling me how much she loves me and is proud of me. It is just so great to know that I have got one of these notes.
I
also just added some memories of our trip to Boca when Sol was about 6
months old and the memory of Jame's birthday this year when we all went
to Beckonscot.
1 Aug 05 Today I received a note and some pics in the post from Mel Press. Mel crossed over with us in NY and was a good friend. Her memory of Char meeting Lenny Kravitz in Canada made me go hunting.
31 July 05 Just got back from holiday, a week at my folks place in Lymington. Char loved it there, so many good walks. We walked one of her favourites, Royden Woods, Jez took some nice pics.
Sara Otvos sent through a wonderful letter to the boys. I have also just published a whole bunch of
fantastic memories sent to me by Julia Boxer. Char, Sara and Julia were at Leeds University together and remained close every since (of course).
22 July 05 My cousin Dorit added to the memory of Charlotte at GG's 90th birthday party in 2002. I also added a picture of Char and Anne Shooter taken at Beckonscot
on May 15. This is the last picture I have of her, and is everlasting
proof that she was healthy, strong and beautiful to the end.
21 July 05 I just published a memory from Tash from April this year. They have a trampoline in their back garden whic Sol just loves. Come to think of it jumping and being naked are probably his favourite things. I have some pics but I think I may save them for his wedding day!
20 Jul 05 It is 2 months since Charl died.
Soph sent me this (amongst others that will no doubt end up here at some stage) photo of Jo, Char, Soph and Katie K in what can only be described as a 5 legged race. I thought it might accompany Sophie Stan's memory of 1977 quite well.
18 July 05 Added a letter from Anna Black
to Solly and Sam. Anna spent the afternoon with Charlie and the boys in
Golders Hill Park the day before she died.
17 July 05 I am overwhealmed by the response to this site from one and all. So much so that I felt I needed to start this blog as a vehicle for my own thoughts as I publish all these wonderful memories. I know some people visit here regularly and get alot of consolation from it. I certainly do putting it together. Please keep them coming.
I am also getting alot of
pictures emailed to me, which is wonderful, and I will publish them all
so long as they are accompanied by a memory. I guess the memory
is more important than the picture.
I just published some great memories from Sophie Stannard, a
childhood friend of both Char and Sophie from Nottingham. Char's
relationship with Sophie 'Stan' is typical of how she managed to
maintain contact with people over the years. The detail about how she got all the words wrong from songs made me laugh out loud.