Kate Hofman, 4 July 05
Dear Char,
This feels a bit strange, not just writing to you,
but the thought that everyone else will read it as well. But that’s ok.
I’ve realised since you died that not everyone is very comfortable
talking about death, and about you, probably because it still hurts and
it makes people sad, but actually, I reckon you wouldn’t want people to
be miserable, and you definitely wouldn’t like people feeling they
couldn’t share their feelings with you and with each other.
Do
you remember when I came round to see you before I went to university?
We walked round the block with Sol and just talked about stuff, and I
knew that the advice you gave me was right, and I remember thinking how
lucky I was to have you to chat to. I still don’t know anyone else who
has a ‘cooler’ aunt and uncle! When Martin showed me the website and
asked me to think about my memories of you I couldn’t think of one
particular thing. But I did think about how you always had so much time
for everyone, you knew exactly what to buy people for their birthday,
and not only were you always able to give me ( and I'm sure other
people) helpful advice, but you knew when it was enough just to listen.
And I feel you’re still listening.
It’s silly really because most of my brain doesn’t seem to remember that you’ve gone. I keep catching myself thinking about you as if you were here, which more than anything else, makes me feel pretty sure that you’re still around.
I love you and I miss you Char,
K