Sophie Berger, 8 Dec 05

June 12th

Until this year June the 12th and our birthday has always been shared.  Mum and Dad never knew that there were two of us and in fact the Doctor had left the room by the time you were born!  The midwives had never heard anyone scream and swear so much when Mum realised she had to go through labour for a second time!!  You arrived safely five minutes after me, six weeks early.  We both weighed less than 3lbs each (as mum always says, the same size as a bag of sugar!).  When Dad rang Grandma to tell her there were two girls and not one, Grandma famously said ‘Now Norman, this is no time for joking is it a boy or a girl?’  Jo, never jealous from the beginning, proudly told friends that she had not one, but two new sisters.   After six weeks in an incubator we came home, me wearing a pink ribbon round my leg and you wearing a blue ribbon round yours to tell us apart and the colours stuck from then.

I always loved my birthday because I could share it with you.  One of the first birthdays I remember from memory and not photos was our 5th Birthday that we celebrated in Cherry Holt Close.  I remember being in our shared bedroom and speaking to each other in bed excited about our presents.  That year we got a doll and a cradle each and there are some pictures of us (here) playing with them side by side.

When we were a bit older we bought presents for each other – of course with mums money!  I remember one year mum took us to the toy shop in Mapperly Plains and we spent ages choosing presents for each other.  You choose an ‘Amanda Jane’ doll but I wanted a ‘Girls World’ like Jo had.  I remember even though it was a secret I got you to tell me what you had bought me in the bath that night.  I was so spoilt and disappointed that I didn’t get the ‘Girls World’ that you persuaded Mum to go back and change the present.  The irony was that when I actually got the ‘Girls World’, I decided in fact I would have preferred the ‘Amanda Jane’ Doll you had originally chosen for me.  Typical!  Of course I can’t even remember what I chose for you that year.

When we were about 11 we were old enough to go into town on our own and choose presents that we paid for with our own money.  I remember the first year we did this I bought you a pair of bright blue socks and you bought me a pair if bright pink socks. Later, buying presents for each other was even more successful.  It was like buying something for yourself that you really wanted and having the extra special pleasure of giving it to your best friend.

Of course parties were always shared.  There was the fancy dress party that we had a Manor Farm and we went dressed as Jack and Jill and I’m sure we had a Swim and Gym party and of course there was our shared Batmizvah.  Our 18th was at Jabez Clegg in Manchester and all your friends from Leeds came; another favourite birthday was when we went to La Caprice for dinner and our 30th we shared with KT K at the Blag Club when you were pregnant and beautiful with Sol.

More recently when we were working and living in London, we would both take the day off work and spend the day together.  We went to the Tate or shopping or just hung out.  There would always be a birthday lunch with Mum and Jo and normally we would have drinks together in a local pub with all our friends.  The last birthday we shared you were pregnant with Sam and together with Mum and Jo we went into town and had lunch at Hush and then shopped around Oxford St.  That night we went to that pub in Tufnell Park and all our friends were there.

And of course there was always one of Mum’s famous chocolate birthday cakes.  Only last week, she made one for Sam’s first birthday – he needed two hands to shovel the cake into his mouth quick enough!

Until this year and over the last 32, we only ever spent one birthday apart and that was when you were living in NYC and I was in Sydney.  I never wanted to celebrate on my own or have the day or attention to myself.  It was always a pleasure and a privilege to share my birthday and life with you.  Having you by my side, sharing the day with you, was what made it the best.

1978-1983

        2 of us 2 of us climb the stairs
        2 of us 2 of us say our prayers
        2 of us 2 of us get into bed
        And sing and tell stories that’s what we like to do

These are the lines from a poem I read in my speech and drama exam when I was around 9 years old.  I spoke about being a twin.  When I think about growing up my memory is ALWAYS having Char by my side.  All my memories seem to merge together into one lovely ‘mush’. 

...Many hours wasted with the 3 of us (me, you and Josie) upstairs at Manor Farm mucking around – especially when we were meant to be doing homework

...Memories of cleaning out Pepe's (our rabbit) cage and arguing who would clean the pooey side out

...Dressing up and making up dances to Abba Super Trouper, Fame and Greece

...Riding our bikes around East Bridgeford, picking up KT on the way to the park passing by the newsagent on route to buy sweets

...Going off to the woods at the back of the farm

...Shuffling school shoes in the leaves along the lane from our house to the school bus stop

...Occasional fights the worse involving ‘fetches’ or the biggest criminal offence of spitting on each other but always ending up with notes under each others doors saying sorry

...Watching the Cosby Show on a Friday night or Juliet Bravo on a Saturday night with fish and Chips (if we were at Dads)

...Sunday lunches after Hebrew classes with Jamie, Katie at Epperstone with Dad and Uncle Barry and playing ‘flash’ around the house 

...Shopping with Mum at C&A, Tammy Girl and Miss Selfridges – you buying blue and me buying pink

...Sailing with dad on Rutland water and dangling our hair in the water

...Picking strawberries at Great Shelford on the first day of the Summer Holidays

...Collecting stickers

...Reading Jackie, Beano, or Patches

...Playing our game ‘Debbie’ with Scottish accents

...Rushcliff leisure centre for swimming and treats from the vending machine or the roller disco, skating around to Tight Fit ‘In the Jungle’

...Journey’s up to Glasgow for Pesach. Practicing and then saying the Manish tana in unison

...Endless conversations about nothing and everything. My constant companion and friend.  The words of the Stephen Duffy song ‘You’re My Favourite Waste of Time’ are never ever truer.  I loved growing up with you by my side.